You don’t. That’s what most guys and even girls mess up in. They see someone they like and fill their head with the idea of love for this person.
However, all it is – is an idea.
Why? Because all the information are based on assumptions. They don’t know if the person is ok in personality, if the person is interested in them too and if the person wants to date them.
Your mindset needs to be at a level where you don’t go off confessing feelings, love, romance and any such sort in the intital beginning stages. That includes sending letters and being cowardly in telling someone else to do it for you.
You approach to find out if you can get along with her and also if she also feels same way as in wanting to get to know you. So what’s the use confessing anything on how you like her a lot when you don’t know she’s into you yet?
What’s the use when you don’t really know her.
You may think you do but you haven’t dated her, got intimate with her, been alone with her not as friends but as a boyfriend. So everything you know and see is all based on just an idea and nothing else.
Telling a girl you like her a lot is not confidence.
Sorry but that is bad advis
Confidence is approaching immediately and showing interest. You don’t hesitate. You take immediate action. It is leading but it is also holding back your emotions to first see if she is into you too.
You want to see what she is like. If you approach with an idea of how you love her then the infatuation will blind you to avoid seeing something you need to see. You will miss certain things that mean a lot to you.
You won’t listen to information you can use to make the interaction an amazing experience for both of you because you got her on a pedestal.
I know I did in past relationships and believe me it was hell for a while until I had enough and left such women behind. However, I learnt my lesson very fast and at a young aged. When you’re infatuated and all it becomes is lust then you do not see things that go against your values.
You may think this isn’t important but believe me after you have had dated, had sex, got intimate then you will see the truth of someone. You will see what you avoided to see and you may find yourself in a bit of situation.
You may find she’s a bitch. You may find she don’t give a damn about you. You may find a lot of things you didn’t see and you could have if you just saw dating for what it is. To first know the person you want to be with.
It becomes hell if ever you married.
Your mind and body is equipped with tools to help you avoid pain. However, if you are so infatuated by her then you won’t even listen to your gut instinct. You won’t listen to most of us here either.
You won’t take time to find out more about and observe her. You won’t ask real genuine questions to see what her values are. You will only see what you want to see and this is how many young men and women get hurt.
They get hooked on the look and think because a woman or man looks pretty that they so nice. That they are so awesome. Yes, it happens and it’s part of psychology and way we are but if you’re smart you keep your emotions in check.
You’ll base your information on facts than assumptions.
You won’t fall fast into someone without seeing things clearly. Dating can do that. Dating is a way to know a person through time before diving in so fast. However, you need to act immediately to first see if she is interested to get to know….you too.
Confident men keep a check of their emotions and don’t emotionally invest until they get a clear idea who she is.
So what do you do?
1. Approach and hold back all the feelings you want to say
2. Strike a conversation and make her feel comfortable
3. Tease, flirt, be fun and show you’re interested in her by your behavior.
4. Then lead conversation to swop numbers.
5. Later text and lead to a date.
6. Know what you want in a girl and see if she has these qualities. Don’t just look for her attractive face, body but her personlity. Look for her attitude towards life. Ask questions to see where she is coming from. Don’t agree to everything if you don’t agree.
Speak up but calmly and show her you’re not some guy who will get walked over. You can do this in a politely fun way.
Don’t make hasty decisions. Go back home and reflect and listen to your gut instinct.
Leave all these affectionate stuff alone for a long while because when you do share it too early, like in the beginning – you are making it very awkward for the girl.
You’re putting her on the spot.
It’s very selfish to go to a girl and tell her how you feel just because you want to get it out of your chest. Also, it is not believable.
Think for a moment…
She doesn’t know you that well. She hasn’t earned such feelings. She hasn’t hasn’t emotionally invested in you nor invested in time. She hasn’t done anything of such sorts for you to confess your feelings.
So it’s not easy to believe and it will creep her out.
You need to be mature about this and see it from the girl’s point of view. Keep some mystery. I’m not talking about playing a game but keep these things to yourself for a while and get to know her. Let her slowly get to know as you date.
Remember, this is a stranger. You don’t spill your guts out to a stranger. Give it time and keep all these personal stuff way back.
Then after many dates, you got intimate and even sexual, then you can share some thoughts about your feelings towards her. Not too much. Just enough for her to see a little of who you are.
Then it becomes believable and she will feel great as she will feel you learnt all this by being with her on dates.
But if you do it instantly then it be real awkward for her.
Let he figure you out for a while as you date but first….get to the base one. Approach, strike a conversation and keep it light hearted. Don’t make it serious the way most guys try to.
Be fun. Relax and make her feel comfortable too.